How to nurture a personal support network for improved well-being

Having a carefully curated personal network serves as:

• A mental opener- Being around people challenges your cognitive thinking process and associated beliefs and ideologies. It can improve how you handle problems and enhance proper personal and life planning mechanisms.

• Emotional growth and awareness- Being around people is a constant mirror held up to your face. It allows you to learn from the behavior of others as well as discover your own emotional capacity and triggers. The more exposed you are, the better you become at awareness and emotional regulation.

• Improved well-being—being connected boosts that feeling of ‘not being alone.’ You feel secure, heard, and included. This support also encourages people in times of setbacks like illness, trauma, and financial crisis, improving a person’s resilience and shortening the recovery time.

• Foster positive mindset and emotions- Interactions and social activities often include feelings of happiness and fulfillment. These can help in controlling symptoms of anxiety, built-up anger/tension, and depression.

Steps to create a personal support network

1. Recognize your needs

Take a realistic look at your life, not from one narrow point but across various aspects (physical, mental, financial, spiritual, etc.). Note down areas that you are excelling in, doing moderately well in, and finally, the part that is neglected. Note down all these findings. Besides each area of life, write down at least one simple goal that you would love to achieve and how you want to do it.

Break tasks under the one goal into simple achievable tasks so it doesn’t come across as an overwhelming activity. This process should cover the questions: what is working and what is not? What needs improvement? What is actually needed? What are the key initiatives to put in place to achieve this? 

For instance, you may note that your physical health is moderate in the sense that you exercise and sleep well, but your nutritional habits are lacking. Besides physical health, your main goal is “building healthy eating habits.”  Mini tasks can include, swapping junk with natural snacks like fruits, drinking more water, etc.

2. Perform a social scan

This is a simple exercise that can be done in one simple sitting. Ask yourself the questions: Who in my contact list can serve as a direct personal network or as a link? In my current environment, what are the social groups available that align with my goals? Are there potential networks in my workplace, school, or any other institution that I know of? Is there any community leader that is known to have a good track record of mentorship?

Once you’ve done this, on your end begin to cultivate a character that is easily likable. Have qualities like a good reputation, receptiveness, good communication and integrity. These qualities should be a reflection of the type of people you want to let into your personal space.

3. Begin to expand network

After identifying which person and what groups are aligned to your purpose, start the approach. Be respectful and follow proper channels where there is a certain form of order. Collect numbers and email addresses, and reach out to contact persons. You can proceed to

• Reach out to potential members already on your contact list and deepen your connection.

• Send introductory messages that are respectful and clearly outline your interest.

• Apply for membership and pay any fees needed for special programs, projects, and networking/coaching events.

• Attend as many social events as you can that have people who are like-minded.

4. Offer support in return

Closed hands neither give nor receive. In order to be worthy in someone’s eyes, you have to be actually worth something. With this personal support network, you will realize that in most cases it is a two-way street, not a parasitic arrangement. Don’t be rigid in offering support. Show up where you can and how you can. You don’t have to be a jack of all trades, but whatever skill you have, offer it wisely to members of your personal network.