How to find your purpose when feeling lost: A step by step guide

The mindset of finding purpose

Finding purpose to change your life involves having the internal resolve to do so. It is a personal journey with you as the main driver. It is important to have the following mindset:

• Self-love and compassion- Do not be too harsh on yourself for the decisions that did not turn out how they were expected. Extend self-love by acknowledging your efforts and reminding yourself that there are other actions that can be taken as long as you are willing to try. 

Do not be caught in the loop of looking at only bad things. Practicing daily positive words of affirmation is an easy way of doing this.

• Hope and optimism—For change to happen, it has to start from within. As an individual you have to believe in yourself and the future that awaits you as you work on making things better. Being hopeful provides extra energy and motivation to get things moving. 

Recognize that there is a season for everything. While there are bad seasons, good seasons also exist, and there will be a better option at the end of the day.

• Positive growth over perfectionism- Not everything has to be done to perfection for it to work out; sometimes all you need is just the will to start. Do it to the best of your ability and be open to learning whatever you don’t know on the way. It’s not about being 100% right and knowing it all but about being willing to put in the work and letting yourself grow through exposure and experience.

• Finding meaning through purpose, not pressure – The purpose of trying harder or smarter is to find a better, more aligned outlook and meaning for your life. It is more important to focus on that internalized meaning and how to live by it than to focus on outcomes that are meant to validate others. Pressure only facilitates rushed, bad, and inadequate decisions, which slow down progress in the long run.

• Respect- This works three ways. Respect yourself, your time, your goals, and the hard work that you are putting in to turn your life around. Respect the role others may play in this process and that aid can come in different forms (money, connections, etc.). Respect the process; do not doubt your progress or give up midway.

Steps to finding purpose

1. Pause and Reflect

This first process is crucial because it allows you to release what is no longer serving you. Let go and rest. Resting is important, as it allows you to properly reset physically, mentally, and emotionally.

 It allows you to be balanced and healthy to make proper plans for future endurance and success. Prayer and meditation are simple tools that one can use at this point.

2. Analysis of patterns

Begin by questioning your behavioral and thought patterns. Try to identify the starting point of your downward spiral and what the root causes could be. Identify what you missed, what you did, and how it eventually turned out. 

Note the behavioral responses that grew with time, how they appear, and at what frequency, including their triggers as well. Write everything down and give it a progression timeline if possible.

3. Form new basics

From the analysis you have done, form new strategies where old ones failed. Things like new habits, new social circles, new cognitive boosters, and upskilling. Where there was progression, set mechanisms of improvement rather than totally abolishing the system. 

Set a strategy of doing all these interventions. An example is if you identified drug abuse as a coping mechanism, you can form a new, safer habit like engaging in exercise or volunteering activities.

4. Practice and evaluate

Action is the mother of all progress. Begin to practice your resolutions to the best of your ability, keeping in mind that failure is also part of the process. Where you don’t succeed at first, you improve and keep moving. 

You can create a mission draft and tracker where you can self-evaluate to see if there are improvements and changes to your outlook in life.

5. Connect with others

Identify support groups like spiritual social circles to give you support and exposure on your journey. Sharing feelings with like-minded people who understand and support you helps ease the mental and emotional load from your plate.

Consider therapy if the feeling of hopelessness and lost purpose is severe even after trying to change by yourself.

Notable exercises that can help out in the general procces process include:

• Journaling- For gratitude, set activities, milestones, goals, and indicators of progress.

• Prayer- Communication the divine often boosts hope and motivation for a better future.

• Meditation- Allows for grounding and stability of the current moment and the progress in question.

• Positive daily affirmation- Drives your self-worth, love, and compassion home.